Psalms 41:9 Even my close friend, whom I trusted, he who shared my bread, has lifted up his heel against me.
am sure as many of you read this verse, you can call to mind a time
when you were rejected by a close friend, a family member, or perhaps a
spouse. Rejection hurts. Not only does it hurt immediately, but it
also causes long term hurts and issues that effect other relationships
in our lives.
Rejection and betrayal are difficult to
understand and equally as difficult to overcome. When we are
rejected, a part of us dies. We mourn. We grieve. We wonder why we
are not good enough. We ask ourselves, "What is wrong with me?"
or "What did I do wrong?"
What dies within us is mostly
the death of our expectations of that relationship. Our hope and trust
in that person dies. We lose the expectation of being loved and cared
for and treated accordingly. We expect a spouse to honor the vows of
"for better or worse" and "till death do us part". We expect friends to
be real and true. We expect jobs to be fair and people to treat us
with respect and concern.
We experience feelings of
rejection because the actions of others do NOT meet our expectations.
This leaves us feeling of little value. We feel unimportant and
unloved. Rejection occurs because the actions of people do not meet
God's expectations of how to treat others. He will never approve of
Rejection is most difficult when it comes
from a family member or close friend. If you have ever heard the words,
"I don't love you anymore", then you know all the emotions and thoughts
that follow. When a person betrays you or decides they have changed
the way they feel about you, that relationship is severed. If the
relationship is a close one, perhaps a marriage or a friendship of many
years, the rejection will cause a physical "ripping of the flesh"
experience. Physical symptoms will accompany this type of severance.
does someone suddenly change his/her mind about loving or even liking
someone? How does a person wake up one day and no longer wish to be a
part of someone else, especially when the relationship has existed for
The root of the matter when a person
rejects another is "SELF". When a person wrongs another, there are
selfish motives and attitudes at heart. There is an absence of God's
will anytime rejection intentionally occurs. When we seek God with all
our hearts, it should never be within us to reject another.
the midst of the pain and grief that rejection brings, remember that
God loves you and will never reject you. Also focus on your value as he
sees it, not as humans assign it. The actions and rejections of others
do NOT determine your value as God's child.